you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
either way he was missing a nipple.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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