He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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