Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
