her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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