shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i think i have two assholes
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
