The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i used baking grease as lip gloss
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
