I just made out with a guy for $7.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
