A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
