Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
