sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
