You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
