i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize