We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
