I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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