im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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