My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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