if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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