every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
