i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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