i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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