Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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