If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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