It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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