quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize
