do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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