woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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