so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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