Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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