Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
