sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
