Don't you send me to vm
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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