the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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