it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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