Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
