Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
