honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
