THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
