Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I will be naked everywhere
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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