ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
we're making bets on your personal life
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Randomize
