awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
