i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
