Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
