he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
