Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
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he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
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If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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