There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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