you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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