FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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