i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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