So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
