Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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