the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
