Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
