Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize