New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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