Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
