All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
