i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The power of my boobs compel you
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
