Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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