i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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