loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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