Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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