That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
