New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out mid-signature
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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