obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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