video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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