haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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