we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize